So allot of things have happened lately. Good news is that I am doing good on my food. I know I haven't posted what I've eaten every day, but yeah. I'm trying something new here. It may be a diet I saw in a stupid magazine, but its intriguing. I have gone on a diet that seriously restricts you calories down to about 700 a day (VERY low!), for 7 days and then allows you 3 cheat days, and you begin again. It works VERY well. I have lost 10 pounds in a week on this plan, but always gain it back when the prospect of staring another 7 days of near starvation rears its head. Actually, you get to eat plenty, its just all very empty or light foods and they are BORING and mostly tasteless and I'd rather go outside and lick horse poo.

So I tried going three days on and one day off and it works well, but three days is still eternity when you start eyeing your cat and wondering what it will taste like after only the first day. There is this diet idea called alternate dieting, where you go one full day eating only 500 calories, and the next eating whatever you want, and switch back and forth every day. I've always been able to do a near fast for an entire day, but thats as long as I can hold out while remaining sane. Not to mention that after 7 days of crash dieting, the weight stops falling off anyways as the body enters starvation mode and grabs the fat like one of the Jonas' brothers crazy fan girls clinging to a shirt they ripped off of one of the homos backs.

Supposedly, this diet doesn't allow your body to enter starvation mode. It supposedly sends your body a different message chemically every day so you are continually losing. So far so good. Today I ate a 90 cal. can of chicken noodle soup for breakfast, a handful of cereal for lunch, and a 90 cal. package of tuna mixed with 35 cal. of light mayo on some corn chips. All day I snacked on pickle slices though...which according to the can have no calories? What are they? Air? When I added it up I have a total of 500 calories because of eating probably 18 of the corn chips. Tomorrow I'm making myself a chorizo/potatoe omelet from an Emerill recipe and having some cheese cake. Lol.

In OTHER news, we got busted by the fire department. It was ridiculous. Call me a complete RETARD, but I was under the impression you were allowed to barrel burn as long as it was supervised and a hose was handy during fire season. I thought burn piles, etc. were no-nos, but that barrels were fine as long as protocol was followed. Apparently not, as an entire FIRE ENGINE showed up complete with 5 fire fighters to throw an enormous fit and scream at us. Apparently it was the second call they had received and they were pissed we didn't listen the first time (while ignoring us when we explained we never HAD a first notice!) They also told us they were going to call the DEQ on us because they found tin cans in our burn barrel. Apparently there is a list of about 30 things you cannot burn or else our earth will explode from the pollution. Gawd I hate liberal hippy wack jobs. Tin cans don't even burn. If they end up in the barrel its not purposeful, its because someone was stupid and threw them in the trash. We just have to pick them out afterwards anyways when they do end up in there....

In any case, they went and called our landlord, who showed up the next day with eviction threats, claiming we had already had a previous warning from the fire department. I got angry because he knows my phone number and could have simply called and asked about the situation in a professional way considering he has known me since I was 8, we have lived here almost a year and never done a thing wrong, and it was a simple explanation of ignorance. Instead, he basically accused me of lying when I told him that we had never received a previous warning and sat and basically told me I was a stupid moron and treated me like I was purposefully attempting to piss him off and that he was inches from throwing us out. Stupidly I told him he was a rude SOB. Luckily this was after he handed me a written, signed statement with the DATE on it saying he would throw us out if he got a third call from the fire department (even though they never came out twice!) I also pointed out to him the Oregon law stating a landlord may only evict tenants for breaking the contract or doing illegal things but not for complaining or for personal issues, so he can't kick us out just because I told him he was a jerk, since I have the letter proving he said he would kick us out after a third fire dep. call, which has never happened. Why? Because we told the fire department we were sorry and wouldn't do it and they didn't think it was a big deal. Apparently the landlord has a stick up his bum.

We might buy a place if we can anyways. There is a very nice house on 5 acres for only $130k near here and if we can get any of these federal loans floating around we could swing it, and the payments would be less than the rent on this stupid house! Our credit is limited because of us not wanting to borrow much over the years, so that might work against us, but we are going to try.

HEY! GO OUT AND DOWNLOAD Welcome Home by Coheed & Cambria. Use BitComet or whatever. The beginning and instrumental parts are just awesome. The people's voices are kind of annoying, but gotta like the music anyways. Also, watch Coraline if you haven't because it is an amazing movie.